Thursday 29 March 2012

The (Long) Road to True Love-3

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This way to true love
“She walks in Beauty, like the night/Of cloudness climes and starry skies/And all that's best of dark and bright/Meet in her aspect and her eyes...”
— Lord Byron
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True love offers its own attractions, but if guys want to be naturally attractive to women to help secure an easier path to love, then the guidance given in part 3 below is for you. So, what do women want? For those men who've ever pondered this question, I offer 10 relationship secrets.

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heart For men in love: What do women want?

Who can be a better love guru for men than a woman? So, here I reveal the secrets of what women really want from a man. They're based on the study of healthy, happy couples and our changing gender roles that I've researched, along with my own personal experience.

  1. Don't hide your flaws. Nothing captures a woman's heart quite like a good man who wants to be a better man. Women love personal growth, they love a man who is thoughtful and sensitive. She likes it when her man recognizes a flaw - a short temper, for example, or a regularly sullen mood after work - and loves it when he makes an effort to address it.
  2. Don't try to fix her world. When something is bothering her, she wants your ear, not your advice. Men feel the need to fix things because they are solution-oriented, but to a woman, really listening is a wonderful, wonderful thing that deepens the relationship.
  3. Nodding is not enough. Listening is important, but she also wants to know that she is being heard. Nodding along won't cut it. When she pauses, she's giving you a cue to respond in a compassionate, caring way. If she tells you that she is upset because her boss gave her a tough time, she wants to hear you say "I'm sorry that work was such a drag for you today." And remember: Resist the urge to offer solutions. Another point to make here is that a caring guy is a hot guy. Women appreciate a guy with a sensitive side, especially when they're upset. Put your arm around her and hand her a tissue. Nurturing is a powerful way to connect.
  4. Women like the slow lane. Guys often want to take the quickest path to sex. But many women prefer the scenic route. Women want sex but they get to it in a different way to achieve a more rewarding relationship. They want to feel connected and understood, they want to be romanced. That means time and talking and touching - in other words, foreplay.
  5. Safe sex is a turn-on. This is something both of you need to focus on, but women appreciate it and feel more protected when the guy makes clear that it's a concern to him - and then shows her that he practices what he preaches.
  6. Learn what she wants in bed.
  7. Women do like to talk to about what's going on in the sack, and they want to please their man - and a tactful approach is often best. Ask her what she likes. Be sure to ask for what you want in a positive and validating way, something along the lines of, "I would really love if you [fill in the blanks]."

  8. Mirroring is a barometer of love. Remember the saying "imitation is the highest form of flattery"? A woman often conveys how she feels about you by mirroring your moods and moves. She may order a meal that pairs with yours, wear your favourite colour, or smile or cross her arms when you do. Mimicking is her way of putting you at ease and letting you know she is charmed.
  9. Don't fear the relationship talk. When your woman wants to talk about the relationship, it doesn't mean you did something wrong (well, not necessarily). Many women like to talk about the "state of the union" - what's going right, what's going wrong, or simply what's going on. This is a good thing. An honest, wide-ranging talk can bring the two of you closer.
  10. Look your partner in the eye. You may feel more comfortable sitting side by side, but many women prefer face time - and I don't mean the latest mobile video chat technology. Women prefer their men to make eye contact with them as they're talking. And looking her in the eye during sex will deepen the relationship outside the bedroom.
  11. Romance is simple; keep it coming. Romance is something she will always want, whether you've been together two months or 20 years. Flowers, an intimate dinner, a few lines of love poetry - don't worry, they don't have to be your own, but at the touch of love everyone becomes a poet - might sound cliché, but most women will appreciate such simple romantic gestures and often show their appreciation after the lights go down. star

Read part 1 | Read part 2 | End of part 3

Yours in love,

Mickie Kent

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